On Ownership

by Michael Curley

In today's modern, consumer driven society, we are encouraged and persuaded constantly to 'want' and to 'own' things. Own your own home; own this video; own this car. We are judged according to what we own, according to the quantity and monetary value of our material possessions. This is our wealth, and developed societies are obsessed by it, thinking of little else but its accumulation. We want more and more and more. Enough is never enough. In fact the word 'ownership' has practically become synonymous with material possession.

If you were to ask the average person in the street "What do you own?" their reply would most likely consist of a list of their material wealth. Rarely would it extend beyond that. "Beyond what?" Mr. Average would most likely ask. "What else is there to own?"

Most people's lives are consumed by the pursuit of owning things, objects. Whole legions of lawyers and accountants spend their considerable intelligence and creative energies dreaming up ways for people, especially the rich and privileged, to keep more of what they own, to prevent anyone taking it from them when they are alive, and even when they are dead. In certain cases, after having 'owned' a thing, to thereafter lose it causes distress, the consequences of which are sometimes fatal. We even try to own each other. In our personal relationships the less aware amongst us try to possess their partner to the extent that they rob him/her of any semblance of freedom, and do this in a misguided notion of romantic love.      

The utter irony is that the things which we try to own are the vary things which it is not possible for us to own at all. As far as material possessions are concerned, we are merely custodians, guardians of whatever passes into our sphere of control. This guardianship is temporal and temporary. Our duty is to care for it, look after it as best we can whilst we have the responsibility for it.  As for wanting to own another person, the very intention sets the wheels in motion, usually fuelled by jealousy, which will most likely, eventually, cause the other person to flee, suffocated, unable to breath. Nobody wants to feel that they have lost their freedom, that they are owned, possessed by another person. This is unhealthy and unnatural. The secure, loving relationships that we seek can only be realised if they are founded upon mutual trust, respect and freedom. They will flounder if rooted in mistrust, possessiveness and jealousy.   

There is however, a much broader, deeper meaning to the idea of ownership. Here I speak of true ownership, things which we truly can and should own, a form of ownership which is not temporary but permanent. A form of ownership which is healthy, which is eternal, and which is in accordance with Divine Law. Here I speak of the meaning and characteristics of true ownership.

To approach this area of understanding it helps for us to equate ownership with responsibility. Not responsibility related to one's job, but a deeper, broader degree of responsibility, for there are other responsibilities which we all have, irrespective of the job of work that we do. If we think of responsibility and of how it relates to us as individuals, as sovereign beings, and what we are really, always, absolutely responsible for, then we have it.

We are responsible for ourselves.

We are truly responsible only for ourselves, for all that we are, all that we think, and all that we say and do. For all that we create. This is the first step. To accept that you and nobody else is responsible for all that happens in your life, to truly accept that we 'own' all of it. Everything in our lives is of our own creation. This is the beginning of the understanding and acceptance of true ownership. To stop blaming anyone else for anything that happens to us. We create our own world from the inside out, beginning with our thoughts, then our words, and finally by the actions that we carry out.

We are creating all of the time. It is impossible to stop. But do we really, consciously, accept ownership for what we create? Are we even aware of what we are creating around us as we create it? To cultivate this understanding, to accept and own our creations is another major step towards spiritual growth and awareness. This relates also to Law of Karma, the Law of Cause and Effect. To be aware of what we have created, to accept and to own it, then we must also accept and own the consequences of our creations, their 'effect' that we have 'caused' into being.

To truly own ourselves then we must own all parts of ourselves. We must accept, embrace, then learn to love our dark side; the part of us that we would perhaps rather not show to others. The part of us whose existence we would perhaps choose to deny. Deny no more. We all have our dark side. Without the dark there can be no light. Free yourself. Own your dark side as an integral part of the wondrous cosmic being that you are, created in God's image. There is nothing to be ashamed of. You are as you are, perfect, in all that you are.

We must learn to accept, embrace, love and own all of our sub-personalities as well; the saboteur, the victim, the pleaser, the fugitive. Refusal to acknowledge these sub-personalities only intensifies their hold on us. Own them, acknowledge them and give them space to express themselves. Let them have their say. This is all that they are asking for. To be seen, acknowledged and then loved. As we do this, we come more into balance, we become more whole. We become more sovereign and more authentic. With practise we will be able to witness our own sub-personalities as we allow them to play themselves out, without becoming involved in the drama which they would have us create. We will be able to observe their behaviour without becoming embroiled in the drama that they so much seek to establish. We will be able to say "Ah, this is my little Saboteur talking. Go ahead, I am listening". We can listen but we have no need to act upon what he says. We are no longer controlled by our sub-personalities. We can stay calm, serene, in control. This is the witness state in which we cease to be controlled by, and a victim to, our emotions and habitual tendencies.

We must own our physical bodies and our personalities, just as they are. There is no such thing as the perfect person and so we should stop castigating ourselves through making comparisons with the physical, mental or emotional characteristics of others who are "better" than we are. Other people are not better, they are just different. In today's world, we are conditioned by the advertising industry to want many things which are inherently bad for us. We are told that we cannot be happy unless we look or behave in a certain way. Slim is beautiful, fat is ugly. We are constantly bombarded with images of slim, beautiful women. On the newsstand the covers of a thousand magazines display the face of the "perfect woman". There is no such thing as the perfect woman, as can be seen from the many different representations which appear throughout our history. Each of us is unique. How can we possibly compare one unique creation with another unique creation? We should rejoice in our uniqueness. There is not, there never has been, and there never will be, anyone who is exactly like you. Isn't that amazing? 

You must accept, take responsibility for, and own our lives exactly as they are, right now, today. If we do not then we cannot change our lives for the better. Acceptance is the precursor to positive change. We must say "Yes" to where we find ourselves in our lives at this moment and accept that we are exactly where we need to be, doing what we are supposed to be doing and at exactly the right time.

We must own all of the facets and experiences which make each one of us such a unique human being. Own all of ourselves and reject nothing. Neither suppress nor deny any part of ourselves. In this way, we are truly able to accept ourselves as we are.  Only after having fully accepted yourself, can you then begin to love yourself. Only when you truly love yourself can you truly begin to love others. This is the way it works. There are no shortcuts.

We must own our feelings and emotions; all of them. We should be honest and true to ourselves in the moment. In the moment, we must own our sadness, our anger, our joy; all of our feelings, whatever they might be. Express them in the moment if this is appropriate and stop blaming how we feel on anything or anyone external to ourselves. We should accept that at all times and in all circumstances, we have a choice, we have free will. We can and should, choose which emotions we express. We need not be a slave to our emotions. But we should never refuse to acknowledge them either. As we mature spiritually, the emotions and the intensity of emotions that we experience will begin to change. There should be less anger and more peace, less sadness and more joy. So there should never be a need to deny or suppress our feelings and emotions. Acknowledge them, own them, and embrace them. This is the way towards emotional maturity and spiritual growth. 

We should own our children, whilst at the same time we set them free. We must own them and bond with each one of them, saying "You are my son; you are my daughter, and it will always be so". We do not deny their individuality nor their sovereignty, but instead we rejoice in it. In this way we bind our children to us in love and freedom. We should not seek to make them mirror-images of ourselves nor to give them our thoughts, but instead, we should recognise, respect, and rejoice in their uniqueness and celebrate their individual qualities. As Kahlil Gibran says of children in "The Prophet"

"You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you".

We must own our friends. Once I call you my friend, then you are my friend for this lifetime and beyond. I have a responsibility for you as my friend, to be true to you, to support you and to be there for you whenever you need me. Call on me. I will not let you down, nor will I betray you with words or actions. I will not suffer others to make fun of you or diminish you in any way.

We must own our parents. Recognise that we have chosen our parents for this lifetime and that we must own that decision. We should therefore love and respect our parents whatever the circumstances. We should not criticise them nor blame them for whatever happens in our own lives. We should also allow them to continue be who they are, despite the gaps which might develop in our understanding of each other, despite the fact that we sometimes believe that we know better than they do.

We must own our past, our present and our future. What we have done in the past has created the present that we experience today. What we are doing now, is creating the future that we have yet to experience. We should accept and own all of this. It is all of our own creation. It belongs to us and to nobody else. Therefore we should not blame anyone else for what happens to us. We should not complain about the circumstances existing in our lives, nor should we make comparisons between our own life and that of others, for we know that this is futile and leads to resentment, jealousy, and therefore unhappiness. Other people do not have a better life. They simply have a different life with a different mix of components, which are not better or worse in their totality. We all have different, not better or worse, lives. This is all.

We must own our fears. We should embrace them and not run away from them. We should not hide from them or deny that they exist, for at the other side of our greatest fear, our greatest gift awaits revelation. This will often turn out to be our gift to the world, our gift to the rest of humanity. If we are afraid, then this fear exists for a good reason. It is there to help us to grow and to teach us about ourselves. Fear is my friend not my enemy. To deny it is to deny ourselves, who we really are.

We cannot achieve self-awareness if self-denial is part of our makeup. We must first own ourselves and every facet of our reality as it manifests from day to day. These are our possessions. This is our wealth; our spiritual wealth which we do indeed amass as spiritual beings. These are the spiritual riches that we carry with us and which we are destined to retain for ever more. These are possessions which we cannot sell nor give away. It is impossible to dispose of them. Therefore we should take the utmost care in the spiritual possessions we do accumulate. We should take care that our baggage does not become too heavy, that we travel light through this journey of the soul. That our wealth of experiences are imbued with light, love, that our creations are imbued with altruism and benevolence

It is no mere coincidence that the word "light" meaning the opposite of darkness is the same as "light" meaning the opposite of heavy. And it is not a coincidence that the colour white has a higher vibration than the colour black? We do in fact associate light with lightness and dark with heaviness. So as we travel through life, accumulating our spiritual possessions, then we should do our best to ensure that we acquire the right, the light possessions. Too much weight will make our journey longer and more arduous. The ancient Egyptians believed that after his death, a persons' soul was weighed, and that for him to enter heaven, then it must weigh less than a feather. This was based in the belief that a persons actions during his lifetime were imprinted on his soul, and that good and righteous deeds weigh less than bad or wrongful ones. Indeed we can all concur that when we express the emotions of love and joy, we feel lighter. 

So in future, if you are ever asked the question "What do you own?", think hard before you reply. You can now join the rest of humanity in the pursuit of wealth. But be sure that the wealth that you pursue is spiritual and not material. Then it's all right to want to have more and more. Yes, I want to own more joy so that I can spread more of it all around me. I want to have more love so that I can let it shine out to all those that I come into contact with.

Eventually, I want to own everything. After all, I am everything, aren't I? And so are you.

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